I’m sure that at some point you have admired those winners who seem to have it all.
That type of person who walks into a room and takes control of it.
Everyone notices they are there, you see them talking, chatting at events and parties as if it were nothing.
They are the ones who have the best jobs, the best partners, the best friends and the greatest number of zeros in their bank account.
And meanwhile you are there, lost, drinking a soda and begging your group of friends for attention.
But those people are not smarter than you, nor do they have better education, fuck, they don’t even look better.
The reality is much simpler, it all comes down to the fact that they are better at relating to other people.
No one reaches the top alone.
Reading this you have two options: resent that everything in life depends on contacts, curse your luck and call them “connected”.
Or learn to improve the way you relate to other people.
If you choose the second option, keep reading.
You only have 10 seconds to prove that you are someone.
It’s all in the face and the body, first impressions are indelible.
Human beings have to form a quick judgment in our heads when we meet someone to make sense of the world and continue with our own.
How you act in those first 10 seconds, your confidence, posture, smile, will determine the mental snapshot someone will have of you.
Your posture.
This is the greatest measure of success and we never give it importance.
Every time you cross a door to enter a room with people, visualize the type of person you want to be and the posture that a winner would have.
Good posture, head high, confident smile and direct eye contact.
Treat others with great attention.
There is no other secret to steal their hearts, even if that person does not interest you at first.
As soon as you are introduced, reward your new acquaintance, turn your body completely and give them all your attention without reservations. This is literally like shouting to that person that they seem special to you.
Deep down, we all seek the attention and appreciation of others.
Even if we don’t know them.
Take advantage of it.
Trick your brain to overcome nerves.
I always get nervous when I go to an event or party where I don’t know many people.
The first conversations make me tense, because I don’t have the situation under control. In the last weeks I have been trying the “old friend” technique.
That shit works.
I tell myself that the person I am about to meet is an old friend that, because of life situations, I haven’t seen for years, but with whom we still have that trust.
Obviously respecting the limits of a first conversation, but convincing myself that the situation is not really that important relaxes me and allows me to be more myself.
Try it.
Control your nerves.
Going back to nerves, I used to be very anxious, sometimes I still am.
And that when you meet someone can kill you, remember, first impressions are everything.
That is why it is important to control your body language so that nerves do not betray you.
If the conversation is important, resist if your nose itches, your ear tingles or your foot burns.
Don’t twist, don’t scratch yourself, and above all don’t touch your face.
In body language that can declare nervousness and generate doubts.
Stay firm.
Observe people’s reactions.
Get used to activating a double channel when you speak:
express yourself without losing sight of your interlocutor’s reactions to what you say and then act accordingly.
If they avoid eye contact during a point in the conversation or have their feet oriented toward the exit, you know you are doing it wrong.
That person wants to escape, you are boring them brother.
If they rub their arm they are probably uncomfortable.
These are typical body language signals, but most of the time you will be able to notice just by observing whether someone is truly interested in you.
Play these cards in your favor.
Visualize your scene before acting it.
I am a person who thinks a lot, thousands of fictional scenarios go through my head before something that makes me nervous.
Use this in your favor. Imagine yourself having the desired conversation with that person, imagine yourself talking about those topics that interest you, visualize yourself at that social event being the center of the conversation.
It sounds stupid, but these fictional scenarios prepare your body for the moment of the situation.
We are much more what we think than you believe.
That is why it is also important that in these cases you fill your head with positive scenarios and messages.
Conclusion.
In the end everything is in your head, you yourself are the person who stops yourself from being that winner at the party.
Be a confident person, have good posture, look people in the eyes when they speak to you, smile but without being a flatterer.
No great winner reached the top alone.
If you want to get there, assume that it will have to be with people.
Assume that relationships are important.
And improve and work on them.
I highly recommend reading the book “How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships”.
It has taught me a lot and I think it can help you.
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See you in the next one!
StarPlatinum.
