You need to be angermaxxing.
statistics show that most good, normal and well-intended people just don't get angry enough as they ought to be getting.
I've watched hundreds of people over the past decade and the one thing that separates the losers from the winners is how angry the winners get, paradoxically enough.
It sounds so stupid - being angry makes you successful?
Well, yes and no - let's dive into what I mean by "anger" 👇
I - Good and Bad Types of Anger
Much like cholesterol, there's a good and bad side to anger and here's the traits.
The GOOD kind of anger
is used sparingly, in moderation
This is the one that most people are unaware of. Much like any nootropic or stimulant, if you abuse it and overdose it - you end up building a resistance and the effects aren't as pronounced as they could be, and you end up taking higher doses and spiraling out of control.
Also you look like a cunt and will alienate people sooner than most people think.
leads to changes and different (better) outcomes, mostly
Venting and bitching is therapeutic - if it leads to a better outcome.
The hitrate shouldn't (and can't) be 100% and it's hard to tell in hindsight if it even had an effect. But deep down inside you should have the mental arithmetic that kind of guesstimates how much of your anger pushed you closer to your goal and at times even humbled you.
shows you care/aren't clocking out and can band people together at times
Indifference is what kills relationships and dreams, not anger.
If you're angry about something, it means you're invested.
If you care about someone and think they're going down a bad path, it's your right (and duty) as a good friend to say your angle.
People can sense when someone has checked out.
Controlled anger shows that you care, regardless of outcomes.
It shows you're alive.
Also, complaining AND taking action collectively against an unjust policy or system can help bring others to your cause - if done with tact.
The BAD kind of anger
unfocused, manic, often repetitive, boy crying wolf type of thing
self-explanatory; no one wants to hear Karen talk about whatever is on the menu for bitching this day of the week for the umpteenth time.
self-destructive, physically/mentally abusive to self/others
again, pretty self-explanatory. the moment you start infringing on others' personal liberties and personal space is the moment you lost your marbles and you have no idea what you're doing and you're the one needing help, not the other way around.
performative
at some point you just decide pretend to be angry at stuff when there's nothing to be really angry about because it gets you hits. it's basically the other spectrum of "people who pretend to be sad all the time to elicit positive comments".
at some point the jig is up, ppl know its performative, and you have no idea what to pivot to because your claim to fame was that you're always the angry one
II - Lessons from Ultimate (Hyper)gambler Kaiji
If you haven't seen it or heard of it yet - let me introduce to you the acclaimed manga and anime (well, two seasons of it, at least) - Kaiji.
The reason why this is such a cult classic is because its only become more and more culturally relevant.
Serialized in 1996 and authored by Nobuyuki Fukumuto, Ultimate Gambler: Kaiji is a manga that follows the life and tribulations of Kaiji Itou, a NEET that has given up on society as it has given up on him.
Broke, angry and directionless, Kaiji finds himself in a series of gambling events orchestrated by the yakuza, time and time again.
Sometimes he wins, sometimes he loses, but the genius of the series is in the fact that Kaiji is NOT secretly talented, NOT chosen, he gets constantly exploited, he CRIES and he gets ANGRY and he SUFFERS physically (fingers, face) and emotionally (mind broken).
The beauty of Kaiji is revealed today, in the post-covid period.
Despite being set in 1994/5, it's never been more culturally relevant than today.
Most people are jobless, unable and/or unwilling to find work, looking at boomers who have hoarded their wealth and are living off the backs of the young with disgust and disdain, as well as fearing AI tech elites who are stealing their future one model release at a time.
Young people are calling it for what it is - society's collapse and gambling (in many shapes and forms) is the defacto mode of wealth attainment and (unfortunately) preservation as well.
If I haven't convinced you to watch/read it yet, I've nothing else to say other than the most memorable highlight of the anime to change your mind:
III - (Not) being jealous of people is toxic
like most of the things in this world, the things we're told are proper behavior only serve to pacify us and to make us more complacent in the long run
one such thing is jealousy - we're taught it's bad and we need to suppress it.
that's not true - jealous inherently has love in it, I should know because I listen to Drake:
It's very simple - we LOVE what we see and we HATE that it's them that we see doing/enjoying it. We want to be in their shoes, because we think we deserve it more than they do.
Brainstorm time, correct answers only:
Q: Who said that you shouldn't be jealous?
A: People that don't want you to succeed.
Society has always been competitive and "PvP".
Yet, it was not until the invention of the small screens that allowed us to see into the daily living rooms and lives (some call them "STORIES") of others that jealousy started getting a REALLY bad reputation, indirectly.
Think why that is and who stands to benefit from you saying "yeah I don't really want that in my life I'm ok being the mediocrity that I am, hashtag humble"
That's right, OTHER PEOPLE BENEFIT FROM IT.
YOU DON'T BENEFIT FROM IT.
Now, I'm not equating all kinds of jealousy.
There's SMART jealousy and STUPID jealousy.
Let me explain
STUPID JEALOUSY:
- ad hominems galore
- thinks only about the result, not about the journey (fixated on the dollar amount, handbag price value, etc)
- constantly coping as to how the person we're analyzing got it (she's a slut, he's a criminal - he stole it; she robbed her boyfriend blind or emotionally manipulated him, etc)
- jealous of pretty much everyone who is richer/more successful/prettier, as opposed to being selectively jealous and understanding the league/division we're all playing in
- always trying to find flaws in other aspects of others' personality, because surely no one is perfect and i'll be the vigilante that exposes them!
SMART JEALOUSY:
- respects the process
- respects the process more than the end result
- actually tries to work from first principles and backward-engineering the things that lead to success
- doesn't badmouth (as often, at least), tries to actually connect with them and find symbiosis
if you're looking up friends/acquaintances from highschool on LinkedIn or wherever, and you DON'T feel jealous of some really (surprisingly) successful ones - you've actually got a problem just as bad as being overly jealous and toxic towards them.
IV - hold up, let me explain the Bible
If you've made it this far, you'll probably say: "hold the fuck up, this is some satanic bullshit, the Bible explicitly says jealousy is bad"
yes and no, here's some examples:
Without even opening the can of worms that is old testament vs new testament (vindictive vs forgiving God), let's look at the three examples from above.
All 3 examples have two components.
Jealous + Murder
Jealous + Sell into slavery
Jealous + Attempt murder
See the issue? The second component.
What should have been done instead:
1. Cain asks Abel how come he so gucci with God and should have linked up and learned how to become more pious/filial and strived to better himself
2. Joseph's brothers should have brainstormed and approached Joseph and asked him how to be heckin good boys instead of doing him dirty
3. Saul should have analyzed why David is popular and asked him to be part of his clique and link up together so they both benefit from this.
Bible doesn't explicitly say jealousy and hatred is bad, it's heavily implied that it's a gateway to OTHER bad emotions and actions.
Now imagine a world where you're not only surrounded by (in person) people who are more successful and seemingly happier than you, but you see hours upon hours of footage and the algorithm pushes EVEN more random people in your face.
Now imagine when such content creation is financially incentivized so you get bombarded EVEN MORE than you generally would.
Yeah.
V - TL;DR what do?
Here's my suggestions, feel free to QT and leave your own (or tell me why we are a very angry and outraged species and we don't need more anger):
find out which 5 people you really admire and want to be like
write down 3 things that they do well and you like
you'll see there's a lot of overlap between these traits - that's not a coincidence btw
also, find a somewhat famous online person/account you absolutely hate and you think is scum and what write down what sets you off about them
realize that most of the stuff you see/read online is fake bogus stuff made to elicit a reaction from you and others
but don't go around calling everyone a LARP/scammer, because that just means you're projecting your own insecurity
cherish friends you already have and family that might not be there at some point due to unforeseen circumstances
try and be the person that gives more in any relationship, romantic, friendship, business - there's a fine line between a gullible fool and an openhearted well-intended dreamer
don't have a guard up when it comes to relationships - most people in this world are NOT out to actively cause you harm and use you, and your bad experiences in the past are not indicative of the beautiful, memorable experiences you will experience if you allow yourself to 🌸
understand that material wealth is not ultimately not important, but lack of a baseline material wealth will force you into negative feedback loops and protrude at various points of your life and make you unlikeable because you don't like yourself
you need way less money than you think you do, but also way more than you think you think is a good number to settle with
if no one is the first to reach out - the whole world goes mute
and, finally, ultimately:
realize that life is too long to spend it constantly being angry, but too short to be constantly indifferent to and "settled with" it
